HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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