i barfeds in our rink
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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