I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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