That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize