ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize