He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize