they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize