I wish I could teleport
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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