So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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