Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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