On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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