ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize