Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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