You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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