just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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