then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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