I'm gonna have a badass scar
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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