So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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