I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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