jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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