a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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