went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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