Just fell off a train. Bad.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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