Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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