my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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