Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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