I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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