i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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