Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize