I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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