Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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