dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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