i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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