Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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