Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize