Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize