i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize