she smelled like a LAN party
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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