I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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