and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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