so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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