is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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