Plan B is the new Plan A
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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