My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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