We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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