I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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