How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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