she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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