I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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