I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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